Communication is Imperfect

February 8, 2021

Good morning! Hold on to those Bernie Mittens… this is when you feel really smart to have chopped an extra cord or two of wood. -21° F here this morning as I enjoy a delicious second cup of hand-picked Honduran coffee.

As I was shoveling an inch of new-fallen snow from the quickening ice on the sidewalk a neighbor walked by with a cheerful good morning.

“Tom had a heart attack; we just got him home from the hospital.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” I said.

“Oh, he’s had it coming,” she said, “with his lifestyle and everything.”

Had it coming? Said cheerfully… I got to wondering what my friends — or spouse — might say about me while out on their hikes.

What is it about a Panda rolling downhill in the snow that gives us humans exuberant joy?!
Do you get greater joy and/or a bigger thrill out of:
- Planning a meal/ menu, or
- Shopping for and gathering the ingredients, or
- Preparing and cooking the meal, or
- Enjoying/ Eating the meal, or
- Cleaning up afterwards, or
- Thinking about it and re-living the memories ex post facto?
The biggest mistake I consistently make with my relationships, especially with those closest to me, is I think they want me to solve their problems when all they really want is for me to listen.
I have a client with relentless optimism (credit to Todd for that phrase, I love it!) who was born and raised in Honduras; she now has dual citizenships.
- She survived two (2) hurricanes recently, one of them a #4 that hit her home dead-center.
  - We all have much to learn from her, but this is to send sympathy to her and to her family for the very recent COVIDs-related death of her Uncle Cándido.
  - Candido was a highly respected, leading physician in Honduras.
  - We in the U.S. tend not to think beyond our geographical and political borders. Why is that?
Mandatory reading, I think: Wharton School’s Adam Grant’s Think Again.
- Excerpt: “… sweet spot of confident humility that allows us to see our strengths and weaknesses clearly and adjust for both…”
- How? might be the best question to ask as it tends to reduce polarization.
  - “Asking ‘how’ tends to set the stage for more constructive conversations.” (Grant)
Anecdotal to the experiences I’ve had out on the (urban) hikes, the most common article of clothing found abandoned or lost or discarded on city streets, alleys, and parkways is ___(answer next week)___.
- What is your experience?
The best time to plant a tree? Twenty years ago.
- The best time to repair a relationship? Today.
  - Don’t run out of bread crumbs, my friends.

Communication at its best is imperfect.
- The basic process of giving and getting information gets us into more trouble than any number of wrenches thrown into any number of proverbial gears.
- When in doubt — and whenever possible, even during the COVIDs — communicate in-person IRL.
- Can’t be there? At least go with video.
- Why? Because ~90% of all communication is non-verbal and you don’t get that with what I’m doing right now; I’d much rather be seeing you.
“The culture of any organization is shaped by the worst behavior the leader is willing to tolerate.” (Whitaker and Gnuenter)
Quick, who is your trusted go-to 4 AM person? (I love this, Pribyl via Michelle… thank you.)
If you aren’t feeling 100% there is no way you can give 100%.
Babson College is consistently ranked #1 or very near the top for undergraduate entrepreneurship.
- Because one of my kids graduated from there years ago I’ve followed the college quite closely hoping a few crumbs of knowledge might fall my way.
- Among its more famous alumni is Arthur Blank, the co-founder and CEO of The Home Depot; he is a frequent visitor to campus and a recent $50 million donor.
- Lists seem to be a way we love to learn, not sure why, but here are Art’s Guiding Principles
  - Include everyone
  - Lead by example
  - Innovate continuously
  - Listen and respond
  - Give back to others
  - Put people first
    - (Notice how many of those guiding principles are on what might be called the softer side of leadership, the empathy side, the healthier and happier side? Because I naturally lean to the left side of my brain — logic/ problem solving — I need and want constant reminders about healthier and happier. How about you?)
  - Arthur has not retained the services of Without A Vision Consultancy LLC, but when/ if he does among our suggestions will be to systematize a method for ensuring his principles are aligned with what’s actually happening.

Without a Vision Consultancy

Without A Vision Consultancy’s uniqueness in the marketplace is the way in which we actively listen.
- We are not trying to sell you anything, we do not have a template or a book we’re promoting; there is no panacea.
- We listen, we seek to understand, we listen some more — and then we help you to create YOUR vision and YOUR plan — one that won’t sit on the shelf.
  - You might not be the right client if you don’t care enough to pause, consider the big picture, have patience, and trust a process.
- Once you have a vision all it takes is patience and persistence along parallel paths to achieve success.
  - Without a vision the people perish — metaphorically and for real.
  - “Culture eats strategy for breakfast every single time.” (Wisdom from Dave — so true)
- If you or your organization is interested in becoming bigger, better, stronger, healthier, happier… engage our services.