Illusion of Communication

November 14, 2022

Good morning! For you, my clients and faithful readers, I am enormously grateful you are here; thank you! More from last week:

“The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion it has taken place.” (Shaw + James)

“Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.” (Frost)

a propos to the Feast coming in just ten days, don’t you think? Make peace at home — and then sustain it.

“Another flaw in the human character is everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.” (Vonnegut)

It felt sacred — and a bit mysterious.
- My mother very rarely accompanied my Dad on the 3-mile daily trip to town as it was mostly about bringing the milk and eggs to market, and maybe a little bit about catching up on the latest news at the local hardware store or the grain elevator.
- But I remember election day quite vividly, maybe three or four of them from my childhood.
- Mom went along with Dad on those days, maybe even a separate trip after the chores were done.
- For us kids left at home it seemed more sacred than going to church — and maybe it was because it happened so infrequently and with an aura of reverence.
- They never shared how they voted; after all, it was a secret ballot.
- We didn’t have a television and so the act of two people voting — or, of witnessing the after effect — was intrinsically powerful and sufficient.
- History had been made by these simple sharecroppers and not much more needed to be said.
- There was never mention of their votes being more important or less important than somebody else’s.
- I hiked one urban mile to our polling place last week — and back home again after filling in a few circles, making sure I didn’t mark outside the lines.
- I thought of what it must have been like for my Mom and Dad to make those private, poignant, and pivotal pilgrimages to town many years ago.
- I hope some of what they had is not lost.
Possessing and cultivating a genuine, healthy curiosity continues to climb the ladder on a list of characteristics a successful leader should have.
- Think about all the good paths to be explored with a never-ending curiosity.
- How to lead with genuine and respectful curiosity (Engel):
  1. Ask questions for clarification;
  2. Pause to reflect on your own emotions and reactions;
  3. Seek to learn from others;
  4. Form opinions based on the overall (big) picture;
  5. Hold space for others — meaning leave room for them inside your own ego;
  6. Seek to nurture and strengthen relationships.
Are you an umbrella or a funnel? (Kaplan)
- Do you serve as an accelerating, amplifying conduit for distractions, requests, meetings, deadlines…?
  - OR
- Do you serve to deflect those things so as to give your people the enormously important resource of focused time?
Maybe coffee is addicted to me? (As seen in a store window)