The Second Fourth R

September 22, 2025

Good morning! Happy New Year!  And may it be a good one — #5,786. Thank you for reading along while we were in Maine; we hope to return there again next year.  It is SO beautiful and peaceful. We are back at world headquarters in St. Cloud, Minnesota. Genius idea o’ the day:  ChatGPT will require its users to provide identification as to age. Why didn’t the cigarette manufacturers think of that?  And/ Or the beer people? Problem solved, I guess.

• If you take milk with your coffee (or tea) and if you live in Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, California, Oregon, or New Mexico…
  • … more than 40% of you are choosing the milk made from oats vs. the milk provided by cows. (VanOot/ Square, 2025)
  • Researchers think the non-dairy milk craze has hit its peak, but moo knows?!
• But how about Ben & Jerry’s and the drama there in the shadow of the Von Trapp singers, no less.
• Why are almost all races (horse, car, human, turtle) run in a counterclockwise direction?
• Has there ever been a crash landing of a bird?
• Prevailing upon your patience and generosity, the following is from the working draft of a book-in-progress with the working title, How Do You Know?
  • I don’t know if it will ever get finished, but parts of it are getting close.
  • Continuing from last week’s discussion about relationships, here are a few snippets from one of the chapters:
    • Viktor Frankl, a native Austrian like Hitler, experienced and endured torture and hopelessness at Auschwitz and three other extermination camps.
      • Following his liberation Frankl expressed his ideas about controlling one’s attitude in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning.
      • Regardless of the environment or the circumstances, Frankl observed, each person is always in control of his (her) attitude.
      • If Frankl’s thesis is true, we would then logically also be in control of our behavior since behavior is the observable actions stemming from attitude.
    • The point is, healthy relationships stem from healthy attitudes which tend to result in behavior consistent with establishing, strengthening, and sustaining a relationship.
    • Many years ago when I was a school principal I adopted a slogan which I thought at the time cleverly communicated our school was more than just the traditional three Rs.
      • Add to Reading, ‘Riting, and ‘Rithmetic – Relationships, Reflection, and Religion.
      • Arguably, relationships are much harder to teach, and to learn, but their importance parallels all the other R’s.
    • Rotary, an organization with which I’ve been involved for more than 40 years, emphasizes acquaintanceship as a fundamental requirement of membership.  Rotary understands that if you’re going to change the world for the better you have to start by developing healthy relationships with the people around you.  When you are acquainted with someone, you are more likely to tackle other kinds of service together; a simple idea with measurable results.
    • The thing about a relationship is it’s never finished.  Unlike painting the house or completing a big project at work, you can’t ever say, “There, that’s done!”  Daresay, therein might be the number-one reason for failure.
      • A relationship is always waiting, wanting, imperfect, in need of some attention.  It’s not unlike a chronic disease which requires daily maintenance.  One is never cured, you just keep working on keeping the disease under control.
        • Some might chafe at this analogy, but because I have some chronic diseases, it works for me.
  • Upon the occasion of their marriage to each other during the COVIDs plague five years ago, my son and daughter-in-law asked me to make a speech.
    • (Be careful!)
    • There have been hundreds of millions of speeches delivered at weddings, most of them a D+ at best.  But, thinking I might be able to do a bit better than average, I coined a mnemonic device which I still remember five years later.
    • I don’t know if THEY remember.
    • I’ll share it with you here.
    • It works for long-married people as well as newly-married lovers still filled with passion.
      • M = Take the macro view… no one can survive a marriage based on day-to-day drama and distractions.
      • A = Annoying… you will get annoyed and you will BE annoying; figure out how you’ll handle it in advance.
      • R = Revenge!  Don’t do it, don’t think about it, don’t fantasize about it, don’t dwell on it – never, never!
      • R = Remember WHY you got involved with each other in the first place; reflect and rekindle often.
      • I = Intimacy… the physical and sexual are obvious and wonderful – especially for young people – but there are other categories of intimacy such as emotional, social, intellectual – and if you have the courage, spiritual.  Work at being more and more intimate in all categories.
      • A = Anger and AWE… try to keep those two in balance, and let the awe win all of the time.
      • G = Go do stuff… make experiences together, lots of them.  You can never have too many experiences – and they don’t have to cost money.
      • E = Everybody else/ Everything else… BAE (Before Anyone Else) – the kids have it right when they use this expression on the chap snats and the face pages.  You have to put your primary relationship first.  Be honest about where it is on your priority list and move it up if it isn’t in first place.

Weak and Wobbly

September 22, 2025

By Michael A. Mullin

I’m weak, wobbly, wounded,

worn-out, and

I feel worthless.

I can’t mow the lawn, pull weeds,

bend, lift, twist, reach, or make

sudden, unannounced movements.

But, I have hope.

On this very day I will visit the Mayo Clinic,

the place of my birth

— like the Chinook returning home —

to see if the world’s purported best can repair my back.

And, if they can’t,

I still have hope.

I could live this way

if I have to, if I have to.

And, I will work on feeling less worthless.

There is more to life than mowing the lawn…

Or so I’m told.

Do you think that’s true?